Maybe the voice in my head is right NAHHHH
by Lemonjello
Summary: Is Serena talking to herself.....Maybe the voice is only trying to help Serena with her problems with Darien.....Nahh
1. Chapter 1

I was walking down the street singing the tune from one of my favorite cartoons, Pepper Anne. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out and shinning and the birds whistled above me. Families were playing and having picnics at the park in which I was strolling in. My hand clasped together behind me and my hair in a single pony tail for one of the first times in like ten years. I usually wore this funky style pig tail slash bun thing. But today I was just going to enjoy my self. I smiled at little kids and blushed at the winks I got from the boys. I admit I was use to them. I have attributes more than some women, especially when I wore my miniskirts. Today, I was. I looked to the sky and smiled at the fluffy clouds that floated over me. Today is-

"Hey, Meatball head!" –absolute hell. I stopped walking and looked behind me and saw my worst enemy.

'Actually everyone knows him as the sexiest guy in town.'

'Well they don't know him like me.'

" Darien, can I have just one day of peace? PLEASE!" I asked him with annoyance apparent. He smirked, which was something that could make any girl faint, except me.

'Oh please you have to shake your head to ignore the feeling in your stomach!'

'Do Not!'

'Then why are you doing it now?'

'I have a ….head ache'

"Now you're just being silly. Me leave you alone? That's about the same time hell freezes over." He chuckled, which makes me shiver.

'Only because you think it's sexy!'

'I really do hate you'

"Your right, so I'll be the one to leave." I replied curtly. He scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at me funny.

"Are you feeling okay, donut head?" He asked as he put the back of his hand on my forehead. I slapped it as I gave him my best glare.

'That makes you look like a monkey'

'No it doesn't!'

"You do realize that when you glare you look like a monkey." Darien told me with another mocking smirk.

'That makes your heart race. Oh and TOLD YOU SO!'

'Will you ever shut up?'

I glared at him and stomped off in the opposite direction. I didn't realize at the time that I was in fact walking in the middle of a soccer game. Unfortunately I realized it too late. When I looked up to where I was going I saw a soccer player about to crash into me. I screamed and then I felt an arm tug me backwards into a hard surface. I had my eyes closed as I tried to catch my breath. That was VERY close. I stood absolutely still till I heard a voice.

"You almost hit her!" Wait that sounded like Darien. NAH! It could be he would have let me get hit and THEN laugh as he high five the guy.

'I don't know. It did sound a LOT like Darien.'

'NAHHHH, it couldn't be, could it?'

My curiosity got the better of me as I turned around in the persons arm. I was speechless at what I saw. Not only was it Darien, but Darien had a look of worry when he looked at me. I must be like dreaming or something. This CAN'T be happening. I pushed him away as I remembered how close we were. I looked at the soccer player and froze.

'Can you say gorgeous?'

'He sure does….'

I shook my head and blushed as I bowed.

"I'm sorry; I wasn't watching where I was going." I said as I hurried to leave the embarrassing scene. Why is always me that makes a complete fool out of themselves. I reached the swing set, on the other end of the park when an arm spun me around. I held my breath afraid that it would be the soccer player and that he was still angry. I let it out in a sigh of frustration.

'Oh just admit it, you would rather him than the mad guy.'

'Not really.'

'Harsh….I like it'

'That's what I'm good for.'

"Hey I stood up for you back there, could you at least, I don't know, THANK ME!" He fumed. I was taken back. He never yelled at me. I was the one to yell. He was always calm and collective in our fights. But here he is acting frustrated.

"If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have walked out in the field in the first place!" I fired back as I turned on him and continued my trot.

"Oh sure, go ahead and blame it on me Meat Ball Head! Just go on and think it's my entire fault and live with your life carefree as I have to live from day to day feeling insecure. Putting my best effort to not let my feeling show. But no here you are, emotional and blaming me, like I don't have enough to worry about!" He screamed after me. I stopped in mid step.

'I've never seen this side of Darien.'

'It's kind of sexy.'

'Okay that's enough of you miss weirdo in my brain'

'Whatever, you know it's cute!'

'EHH…..I guess….'

I turned to him with a confused face.

"What do you want me to do, Darien?" I asked with a huff. He sighed and looked down as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. A dark shadow covered his face making him seem more dramatic.

'And sexy.'

"I want….Never mind, just go Meatball head, and just forget I said anything." He said as he walked off in the opposite direction.

'Was he serious?'

'No clue.'

'Hey do you smell that?'

'Yeah, is that popcorn?'

'Yeah with butter.'

'YUMMM.'


	2. Chapter 2

I walked into the arcade. Not expecting much but a chocolate milkshake, or a banana split.

'Maybe both…'

'Oh yeah'

But behold, god would rather see me suffer before I can get a treat.

'Five guesses who!'

Yep, Darien. I sighed in annoyance. I didn't prepare myself for his torments. I walked over to his slouched formed and sat next to him.

'Why?'

'Why what?'

'If he SOO bad, why do you sit next to him?'

'Um…..uh, stop with the questions.'

'Will you just admit you're attracted to him?'

'I will, when I find him attractive.'

'Your so in denial.'

"Why don't you sit somewhere else?" Darien asked looking up to me. I was taken back by his voice. It was annoyed and sharp.

"That's a little harsh, even for you" I replied offended. He rolled his eyes. He got up and walked to the other side of the counter.

'Wow, talk about problems…'

'Hey look its Andrew'

'Darien's cuter!'

"Hey Andrew! How's your day?" I asked in a cheery voice. He smiled brightly and leaned on the counter to level out the height difference.

'Not that it matters, you're always going to be at least two feet below them.'

'I REALLY hate you.'

'I can feel the love from here…'

"I'm good, I talked to my girlfriend today, she's do back soon." He said in an equally cheery voice. I smiled as I felt happy for him.

'I thought you hated his girlfriend for taking him from you.'

'Weird. I thought so too…stupid Darien making me feels weird.'

I congratulated him and order and banana split. He left to go fetch it. Darien just sat and stared off into space. He seemed so lost. He seemed helpless. I felt sad for a split second.

'Yeah and then you saw your banana split.'

'You know me all too well.'

'Well you DID create me.'

Well as I gulped down the banana split in record time.

'This was in fact thirty seconds…'

I got up and gave my goodbyes to Andrew. Darien got up right after I walked past him. I suddenly felt my heart stop for a split second.

'And you say you're with out feelings towards him.'

I mentally pinched my made up friend and continued to walk out of the arcade. I was two yards away when I heard some one yell out. I stopped and sighed knowing Darien would be there. No WAY would he let me leave with out even one petty insult. I turned around waiting for the first throw down. But too my surprise it was the hot guy from the park.

'Wait which one? There was too many.'

'The one I was almost hit by.'

'Oh! Oh. He's real cute'

I bit my lip as I prepared myself for an angry rant.

"I'm sorry about the whole park scene today. I was just not paying attention to where I was running. Um, I was hopping to make it up to you. How's an ice cream sound?" He asked as he brushed the hair out of his eyes. This unintentionally showed his big muscles.

'YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS'

"Um. I don't know…" I said looking down to cover my blush.

"How about dinner after that too?" He bargained. I smiled.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt. Here's my number." I said pulling out a pen from my purse and writing it on his hand. He smiled and wave bye as he walked off. I smiled wide as I skipped away.

'Is to today splendid yet?'

I stopped skipping when I saw Darien stalk off on the other side of the street.

'Why does he always seem to suck out all the fun I have with just one look?'

'Maybe because you don't like to see him so sully'

'Is it raining?'

'Are you avoiding the subject? And no it is way too sunny. There's not even a single cloud in the sky either.'

'Better get my umbrella just incase.'

'Yep you're avoiding it.'


	3. Chapter 3

'_Okay this one.'_

'_Nah it's to……whorish.'_

'_No, it's not!'_

'_Can you see cleavage?'_

'…_..yes.'_

'_If you bend over will you pop out?'_

'…_..yes.'_

'_If you bend over will your skirt show your goods?'_

'…_..yes.'_

'_Okay then it's NOT AT ALL whorish.'_

'_Roar…..I don't need this.'_

'_But it's better than your date straight up raping you!'_

'_What are you my mom?!'_

'_Actually…'_

'_Just, shut up.'_

I made my way to the arcade when my cell phone went off. I fumbled to get it out. When I looked at the number I stopped and tried to tie it to someone. Finally finding out it wasn't from any of my friends I open it as I said a cool, suave 'hey'.

'_Are you kidding me? It sounded like a croak!'_

'_Well I was fumbling to get my purse on me.'_

"Hey it's me the guy from, the park. By the way, I'm Dave. Um I just wanted to tell you that my friend needed a ride and I just dropped him off so…..I will most likely be a little late. I'm so sorry, I know this may seem like bad manners but my friend really needed it. I promise I'll be there in like ten minutes."

"It's perfectly fine! I actually will be late also. So don't worry."

'_No, your not! You're already at the arcade, early for once!'_

"Perfect! Thanks for understanding! See ya!" I said bye as I sat down at the bar. I huffed out of boredom and rested my head down.

"That's not such a great idea. Your skirt is way too short for a stool….or anything else now that I think about it…" I looked up and glared at Darien.

"Just trying to help" He shrugs with innocence. "Anyway, why are you so dressed up?"

'For lover boy, aka you'

'I really can't stand you…'

'I can tell.'

"Not that it's your business, but I have a date, and I'm actually on time." I informed him, proud of my achievement. He sat down next to me, ordering his usual black coffee.

'What bad taste in coffee.'

'Tell me about it.'

"So where's the date?" He asked looking around. I blushed embarrassed.

"He had to drop off a friend before coming over." I answered looking into my lap. I felt his fingers under my chin as he lifted my head to face him.

"You call me if anything happens okay?" He told me as he pulled out a card with his info on it. I smiled at his concern.

'That's it, you two are getting married.'

'You over do everything.'

'What can I say? I'm a romantic.'

"I will." I told him, smiling wide.

"Hey, sorry for being late. You ready to go?" Said a familiar voice. I nodded yes, still smiling at Darien. I got up and left with Dave, looking back once to smile at Darien.

'Love is in the air.'

'You do realize that I'm on a date with some one else at the moment?'

'And you point is?'

'Urgh forget it!'


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night.

I stopped outside my front door.

"Well this is me casa." I chirped. He laughed.

"I always wanted to know French."

'Well that pretty much shows what the rest of the date was like.'

'Oh god, please take mercy on me and take me out now.'

"Yeah, well I got to go ….clean. I'll see you around." I quickly slipped into the house and took a DEEP cleansing breath. Not only was the date horrid, I also lost my purse! It couldn't possibly get worse than this!

And then it did.

"Hey, Serena." Said a deep sensual voice. I literally cringed.

'Calm down, BREATH!'

I closed my eyes as tears came up. I leaned against the door and slid down, holding my legs as I sobbed. I felt a presence in front of me.

"What happened?" Came a soft whisper. I felt it caress my ears, not believing his tone.

'Does he care?'

'Open your eyes and look!'

I obeyed and his eyes came into focus. I sniffed as the tears stopped. The look in his eyes almost scared me. It held so much emotion.

'Because he cares!'

'Nah, Darien? No way!'

"Why are you here?" I whispered lightly, scared he would answer and ruin the moment. His eyes changed, they seemed darker and more solid, like he was holding in something.

"You left your purse at the arcade." He told me absently. "Now why are you crying? Did something happen?" He asked. I looked at him and sighed.

"You have my purse?" I asked exasperated. He smirked and lifted it into view. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said as I grabbed the purse and stood up, smoothing my skirt and shirt. He stood looking completely out of place.

"I guess I'll get going." He muttered, waiting for me to move out of the way.

"How did you get in?" I asked. Not noticing what he was expecting me to do.

"I told the guy in the lobby about your purse." He answered. I smiled.

"Want some coffee? It's nice having some one to talk to, who actually knows where Argentina is." I admitted walking into the kitchen. He stopped at the door. Trying to figure out what his next move should be. Leave and see me tomorrow, or stay and get over our rivalry. He ended up joining me in the kitchen as I put the beans in the machine.

"You live here by yourself?" He asked. I turned and leaned on the counter, facing him.

"Well my roommate just moved back home, she does this during the summer months. Big family." I explained. He nodded.

"Why didn't you just give the purse to my friends?" I asked. He looked down and combed a hand through his hair.

"I guess I didn't think of that." He confessed. I chuckled and handed him his coffee, staying in the kitchen.

"I never thanked you for the park incident, did I?" I admitted. He shook his head no. "Thanks, I just wasn't use to that Darien. I'm use to the one who would watch and laugh at me getting hit with a ball." I told truthfully.

"I wouldn't do that." He said looking hurt.

"I noticed." I replied, he chuckled.

"You're not as immature, as you lead on." He admitted.

"Thanks, I guess." I muttered confused.

"Why do you act that way around others?" He asked, pushing off the counter and stepping closer. I looked away.

'Are you blushing?'

'No….'

'Liar'

"I don't know." I admitted truthfully. I really didn't know why. He stepped closer. Capturing my attention. Our eyes locked and I felt my heart squeeze. My breath hitched.

'Moments like these aren't plentiful.'

'They should be.'

"I like this Serena." He breathed, inching closer. I felt myself lift up to my tippy toes.

"You called me Serena." I teased as I felt him put his hands on the counter behind me, cornering me.

"Do you really want me to call you meatball head?" He asked lightly as we reveled in the feeling of being so close to each other.

'God I need a wet rag, this scene is too much for me.'

'Then leave.'

'Did you just…?'

"Shut up and take me to the bedroom." I commanded. He straight up laughed and took my hand, leading me to the bedroom. I giggled as he turned back to me and held my waist tightly and stopped to stare me in the eyes.

"Your eyes, they in trace me." He whispered softly. I giggled.

"Funny, your body turns me on." I teased as my fingers found his shirt buttons. He chuckled as he leaned into me, caressing and marveling at my face.

"Can I tell you the truth?" He asked lightly. I bit my lip nervous.

"Must you?" I asked annoyed. He chuckled, making my insides melt.

"I really came here to spy on you and your date. I was afraid you'd take him back to your place." He admitted, I pulled back shocked.

"Darien Shields, you are known for many things, but jealously isn't one of them." I teased. He blushed, making me smile wide.

"I've been jealous of ever man you ever spoke to." He admitted. I pulled him into a intimate hug.

"But what are you feeling now?" I asked softly into his ear. I felt his breath stop and smiled.

"Many things, attraction, lust, joy, excitement, annoyance." I pulled back on the last one confused. He laughed lightly and pulled me back into a long sensuous kiss.

'God he kisses better than I dreamed.'

'Is that possible?'

'Obviously, it is.'

I deepened the kiss and tugged him backwards to the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke to the sound of the shower. I yawned and turned over, falling back to sleep.

"Sere, Sere?" Whispered a dreamy voice. I mumbled something into my pillow.

"Sere, I have to go to work. I just wanted to tell you goodbye. I'm leaving my number on your nightstand. Call me when you get up. I don't know what we should do about us now. If you'd like to try and make us work, or if this was a one time thing." I groaned. He chuckled. I slowly lifted my head and blinked at him. He smiled and brushed my hair back.

"Last night was, incredible." He muttered, gazing into my eyes. I flushed a deep red. He smiled wide and kissed me lightly and delicately.

"Bye." I whispered as he kissed my head and walked off. I watched him leave, and fell back into bed.

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I groaned and moaned, but I ended up getting it anyways.

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Serena?" Croaked the voice of my hysterical mother.

I sat in the hospitals waiting room, rubbing my mothers back as we waited for the doctor to contact us, when Darien called.

"Hey, I was expecting your call all day." He teased on the phone. I sighed.

"Well, I couldn't. My father had a car accident. He's dying." I answered truthfully.

"Wow. I'm sorry. Do you need me for anything?" He asked concerned.

"I'm just tired and I need to take my mom home and then go home myself. So I'm about to call a cab." I told him truthfully.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be there in a second. I'll take your mom home and all." I sighed in relief.

"Are you sure?" I asked, wishing he'd say yes.

"Yeah I'm down the street anyways. What wing are you in?" he asked.

"The west wing. I'll be at the entrance, don't bother to park." I told him, we did our goodbyes and I struggled to pick up my mom, since she was very much passed out. By the time I wobbled outside, Darien was standing outside of his car waiting. I gave him a weak smile as he approached me and helped me carry her. We were silent the whole car drive to my moms house. Once we climbed back in after putting my mom to bed, we spoke.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I sighed.

"What a loaded question." I replied, he smiled and grabbed my hand.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Did you hit him?" I asked shocked.

"No."

"Then stop saying that. The last thing I need is pity. I'm going to go home and pass out." I informed him. He pulled into my apartment building, and walked me to the door.

"Wanna sleep over?" I asked excited. "We could stay up all night watching Titanic and paint our nails. Please, please!" I squealed as I wrapped my arms around him. He shook his head and kissed me.

"Only if we watch God Father instead." I whined and pulled him inside. I pulled him into a heated kiss, but he pulled away.

"Your father is dying." He whispered.

"Really?" I asked shocked.

"I don't think this would help." He told me as he untangled from my embrace. I rolled my eyes bluntly.

"It wouldn't help if I went to sleep. But I'm going to anyways. Now stop dictating me and lets go to bed." I joked. He caressed my cheek lightly staring me in eyes.

"It's going to be okay, Serena. I promise." He whispered softly, meaning each word. I felt myself shatter. I pushed away from him as I felt the tears come to me.

"How can you say that!?" I screamed. "You have no idea what I feel like. My father is dying as we speak. I have no idea what is going to happen to mom afterwards. She doesn't work, and my father just retired. I don't know what I'm going to do! He paid for my apartment bills, and college. I have no job. I' ruined!" I screamed as the sobs came up. Darien grabbed my flaring hands and pulled me into a tight hug as I sobbed and sobbed, and when I couldn't hold myself up, he carried me to my bed and held me some more as I cried myself dry.

"Are you done?" He asked lightly. I pulled away from him and stared him in the eyes. I combed my hand through his hair.

"Yes." I whispered as I leaned my head on his.

"Can I kiss you now?" He asked lightly. I smiled wide.

"Only if you promise not to stop." I told him. He nodded and capture my lips in a searing kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up in his arms. I turned around to find him already awake.

"Hey, gorgeous." He whispered as he kissed me.

"Did I pass out on you?" I asked exasperated. He smiled and nodded yes.

"Right after I took your shirt off I heard you start to snore, so I decided to go ahead and put you in your pajamas and join you." He explained. I scooted closer to him.

"I'm sorry for breaking down on you. You didn't deserver that after saying something so sweet to me." I apologized. He chuckled after remembering.

"I know how you can repay me." He answered. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't go down. I'm not a whore." I told him. He laughed loudly.

"I wouldn't mind that, but no. I wasn't going to ask that, I was going to ask you to go on a date with me, well after the whole dad thing is over." He asked as he rolled on his back bringing me with him.

"Do you really want to be with me?" I asked him skeptical.

"Of course, you're strong, rational, and you express your depression by wanting sex. Not a quality found much these days." He answered; I laughed and kissed him deeply.

"Speaking of which, don't I still owe you after last night?" I asked teasingly as I nibbled on his ear.

"I'm open for anything." He groaned as I grind into him. I giggled and peeled my shirt off.

"Hey you're still awake!" He teased. I stuck my tongue out at him and wiggled my shorts off. I moaned as his mouth found its way to my shoulder, nibbling and sucking lightly.

'_Is this when the phone rings?'_

'_Of course.'_

I groaned as I untangled from Darien and kissed him as I reached my phone. It was my mother.

"Serena, he passed away last night. They need us to come over and sign these papers of some sort. Can you come with me?" She asked lightly. I swallowed hard.

"I'll be there in ten." I said goodbye and turned to Darien.

"Is he gone?" He asked. I nodded with tears in my eyes. He pulled me into a tight hug and rubbed my back as I cried. I pulled away after a minute, still sniffing.

"I need to go with her to the hospital." I informed him as I got up and started to get dressed.

"I'll pick her up and drive you. The last thing you need is to drive." He told me as he got up getting his shirt on and finding his keys.

"Thank you so much, for everything." I told him, meeting him at the door. I kissed him deeply and opened the door.

"Your worth the trouble." He replied and I kissed him again as we got to the car.

"So what are we waiting for?" Darien asked as I leaned back on him on the wall.

"We're waiting for the doctors to get the papers and for my mom to sign them. Then we have to go and arrange the funeral. Well, my father arranged the funeral. We just have to set it in motion." I told him as we watched my mom sit in the waiting room, we were giving her some alone time so she could get over the shock.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked as he traced my sides lightly. I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

'Relaxed enough?'

'He should be a mattress.'

"Shoot." I whispered making him shiver at my light tone.

"Did you honestly like me? I mean, did you always have a crush on me? Or is just a new found lust?" He asked, I found myself smiling at the sound of him being nervous over me. Deep down I knew what I felt all along.

"I wouldn't admit it before. But now I know that I liked you all along." I replied, feeling him tighten his hold on me slightly. I smiled at his behavior, in a way he was trying to pull me closer than I already was.

'This is starting to sound very corny sweetie.'

'Sweetie? What the fuck?'

"You?" I asked back, tracing his thumb with my fingers, calming him slowly.

"I knew the minute you yelled at me on our first collision. You were too much my opposite to not be a big part in my life, and before I knew it, I was trying very hard to be a major part on you daily schedule." He explained slowly drifting asleep.

"Hey," I nudged him awake. "I'll go and finish the paper work without my mom, she doesn't have to sign, just one of us. You go take a nap and watch my mother." She told him as she stood straight and grabbed his hand. "Oh, and thanks." She told him kissing him lightly.

"For what?" He asked, confused at her actions.

"Everything, driving me and my mother, taking my abuse and then calming me down, oh and don't forget the great sex." I counted off before I kissed him deeply.

"Anytime, anywhere." He replied as he sat down next to the now sleeping form of my mother.

"I'll be back." I told him as I marched up to the desk.

"Thank you so much for this." I told Darien as we climbed into the car after putting my mother in bed yet again. He lend over the mantel and kissed me deeply. Leaving me breathless.

"Come home with me?" He almost commended. I nodded as I sat back in my seat as he drove.


	7. Chapter 7

"God, I didn't know you liked color soo much." I joked looking over the completely white apartment.

_'Oh wow, he's mental, get out now!'_

_'Oh shut up.'_

"I'm not much into decorating, or having guests." He replied showing signs of his nervousness. I turned to him and smiled wide.

"Not a bad thing." I told him as I pulled him into a hard kiss.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked curious.

_'That doesn't sound good.'_

_'I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.'_

"Sure."

"How old are you?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Why?" I asked back as I kissed him slightly.

"Just curious." Kiss.

"Twenty" I answered as I tugged his shirt over his head.

"I'm six years older." He grunted as he pushed me into the wall. I froze for a second.

"Six? Really?" I asked him as he marred my neck.

"Is that a problem?" He asked as he tugged my shirt off.

"Nah, you're just the oldest person I've slep-dated." He back off quickly.

"Wait. How many?" He asked seriously. I ruffled her eyebrows.

"How many what?" I asked.

_'Ohh shit, not this question.'_

_'It's so early to bicker about this.'_

"How many men have you slept with?" He asked, anger building.

"I'm not a carrier of anything." I answered defensively. He sighed, but not out of relief.

"Answer me." He commanded.

_'Ohh this is shit.'_

_'You're right, this is shit.'_

"You know what? Fuck you." I yelled offended as I started to walk out. He grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks. I turned to look at his turmoil expression.

"I'm sorry." He told me shaking his head at himself. "I don't know what got into me. Jealously I guess. I just, I don't know. I just know I want you here, with me. I know it's a lot since we're barely a couple. But I don't want to be without you, even for a night." He admitted looking at me with such a broken face. I pulled him into a slow and meaningful kiss that made me almost loose my breath.

_'God you too are too perfect.'_

_'That's right be jealous.'_

He kissed me again deeper this time. But as he laid me on the bed he pulled away lightly.

"Lets just go to sleep." He stated, but for some reason something in me snap.

"Does the fact that I'm not a virgin repulse you that much? I'm sorry I can't be miss Virgin Mary for you!" I yelled getting out of bed, he quickly caught me by the waist before I could walk out of the room.

"I didn't say that. I just thought it'd best that we actually sleep tonight. Your father's funeral starts tomorrow with the viewing. You need your rest." He reasoned. I sighed in frustration. I nodded in agreement though, making my way to his bed but he stopped me and went to his drawers to pass me one of his shirts and boxers. I Changed in front of him teasingly and he knew it, he came to me as I finished and kissed me deeply.

"Bed?"

"Bed." I agreed as he picked me up and jumped on the bed with me in arms.

_'That doesn't sound so good.'_

_'Oh, it didn't feel so good to us either.'_

We groaned as we collided into each other hurtfully.

"Sorry." He groaned. I laughed and kissed his aching head.

"Don't be." I replied as I lay on top of him, resting my head in the crock of his neck and slowly drifted to sleep with the help of his fingers tracing my back.


	8. Chapter 8

I stood in front of the newly covered grave. I heart feeling like a chip was sawed off. My mind finally registering that I lost my father forever. I would never see him again. He would never walk me down the aisle, or hold my children. I face dry of any emotion at all. Darien walked up to me and touched my back, letting me know that he was there.

"I lost my parents when I was nine. The accident made me forget any memory at all of them. During the funeral I felt like I was there for someone else, a complete stranger. But seeing today, I realized that not remembering made it so much easier. I'm sorry for your lost. I'm not going to lie and tell you that you'll live on. You won't, you will always think about the what ifs and the emptiness in your heart that will never fill. But life isn't life without the heartache and pain. A full life is the one you remember memories, not chances." He whispered to me as I leaned into his embrace. He kissed my forehead as he stirred me away and too his car. I couldn't face him though. Looking out the window was about the only thing I could stand to do. Looking at Darien would only result in me feeling all the emotions from the last three hours all over again. But the silence, the silence was killing me faster.

"When I was eight, I found out my father smoked. I was so devastated that I went to my room crying. When he came home and my mother told him I found out, he walked in and told me to get ready , that he was taking me to the fair. It sounds stupid, I know. He was trying to buy my trust back. But really, the whole thing made me realize. You can't trust someone to be perfect. You can only trust someone to be themselves, because the imperfects are them." I confessed a story for no real purpose but to make me feel closer to my father in a way. Darien didn't say anything but he just grabbed my hand as he pulled into my apartment building.

I opened the door and hauled him in pulling him into a searing kiss. He was shocked at first but soon gave in. I kicked the door close and pushed him into the hall wall. He pulled away as my tears met his cheek.

"Not now." He told me, for the first time actually seeing my face. I didn't answer, just kissed him harder.

"Sere, stop." He begged as I hopped on my counter still pulling him to me.

"I can't." I whispered as I kissed his jaw and neck hungrily.

"You don't know what your doing." He tried. I smiled and finally looked him in the eyes.

"Then show me." I commanded lightly.

_'Nice.'_

_'I was wondering when you'd be back.'_

_'I'm actually about to go take a nap.'_

_'Well I'm going to…go to bed.'_

_'Oh I get the picture already.'_

I chuckled to myself as I tore at his suite trying to touch his skin. He finally broke from my grasp stumbling backwards against the opposite counter as me. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breathing.

"He loved you Serena." He whispered hoarsely. I felt like my whole being shattered. I froze, but only for a second before hopping off the counter and stood in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off with a loud smack to the cheek.

"You cock sucking bastard I hate you!" I screamed as I rushed to my cabinets reaching for the plates but a hand found mine and stopped it from its journey.

"Serena, your mother told me." He whispered as I pushed backwards, making him hit the counter with his back I did it again for the gasp he made.

"You weren't suppose to get involved. You weren't suppose to get involved!" I screamed over and over trying to get out of his grasp so I could hit him.

"Stop this!" He boomed making me freeze. "Serena this is ridiculous. You know he loved you. He still does. You're his daughter." He whispered as I collapsed into him.

"I just. I told him I didn't need him. Who tells their father they don't need them. He looked so sad when I left, like I spat in his face and told him he is failure. I can't believe that was the last thing I told him. He didn't deserve it. I still need him now. I still need him." I repeated to myself mostly as Darien carried me to the couch and just sat down with me in his lap. For three hours we didn't move at all. Well except his fingers tracing my back.

"Why are you here?" I asked finally. He didn't miss a beat with his finger as he answered.

"I want to be here." He told me simply. I chuckled.

"No you don't. Now tell me." I commanded.

"I honestly like being here."

"But why? It's not for the sex, because we already did that." I pointed out with my finger. "And I have no money anymore. Did you like me that much? I honestly thought that you'd get over me in three days tops. But here we are a week after our first night together, and here you are comforting me, turning me down when I was trying to pull you in the sack after not having sex for three days. I just don't understand." I tried to reason.

"I could give you an answer if I knew, but I don't know. All I know is what I feel. So far I feel right sitting here comforting you. You make me remember things I tried to forget about. But now that I see them again, I can take them on and finally be at peace with myself." He confessed. I smiled as I looked up to him full of admiration.

_'That was kind of deep.'_

_'I think I love him.'_

_'I don't blame you.'_

"You are my hero." I whispered as I caressed his cheek.

"Then you need a new hero." He confessed. I chuckled as I sat up straddled him.

"No I don't. I have the perfect hero right here. My very own Aladdin." I whispered as I kissed him softly.

"Aladdin?" He asked as I kissed him again.

"My favorite movie of all times." I answered as I kissed him deeper, letting him take control.

_'And then the bell rings.'_

_'Of course.'_

_'Why don people have door bells? Is it so hard to just hit the door?'_

_'Good question. I must ask someone that.'_

I kissed Darien one last time before answering the door to Lita.

"Hey." I whispered feeling depressed all over again.

"He left me." She whispered lightly. I nodded softly as I let her in. Once she saw Darien on the couch she turned around to face me. I complete forgot for a second that I haven't seen any of the girls for three months, so the whole Darien in my apartment was a big deal to her.

"Um, why is he here?" She whispered lightly as she hauled me into the kitchen.

"Umm, well, we're sort of, dating." I answered her. She froze.

"You're shit'n me." She almost yelled. I laughed as I shushed her down.

"It happened this Monday. I went on this BAD date and lost my purse and well he met me here after the date and well, we just kind of got over the whole 'I hate you thing' and jumped each other." I explained. "well the next morning, my father died, and he's been here with me ever since." I added, I smiled as he walked in and stood next to me on the counter holding my hand lightly.

"I didn't see that coming." She muttered at our entwined hands. Darien chuckled.

"So Nick left you?" I changed the subject.

_'Bad topic girlie.'_

_'I see that now.'_

Lita instantly went back to her tearful expression as she looked away ashamed of her tears. I gave Darien a look saying I'll be busy for awhile. He shook his head no at me.

"Andrew dumped Rita last weekend." Darien slipped in. Lita immediately cheered up.

"Why?" She asked now back to her old self. He eyes showing a playfulness that told me that Nick never hurt her spirit. She stayed for a good hour before heading over to the arcade. I sat down on Darien's lap tired to entertaining Lita.

"Sere?" He whispered lightly. I grunted for an answer. "Tomorrow, are you free?" He asked lightly, playing with my fingers softly.

"Yes." I whispered slowly drifting asleep.

"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked finally getting to the point. I kissed his cheek lightly.

"I though you'd never ask." I answered as I got up and pulled him with me to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

_'He must be joking.'_

_'He looks pretty serious.'_

_'He can not be serious.'_

_'The arcade?'_

_'Like I haven't been here before.'_

_'He is now officially in the dog house.'_

"The arcade?" I asked trying my hardest to sound happy, and not mad. But he could tell. He looked down at his shoes in embarrassment.

"Well I lost my job two days ago so, I'm broke. I'm sorry, but I didn't have much saved. My inheritance only pays for my college funds for the newt semester. Not between semesters." He explained to me.

"You lost your job? How?" I asked puzzled that this happened with out me noticing.

"Well my boss got mad at me missing so many days. So he called me and fired me." He explained. I froze.

"You lost you job because of me?!" I all but screamed. "Why didn't you just go? I'm not worth your job. Where are you going to live? Oh my god how could you not tell me? I was with you the whole time." I muttered things shocked.

"Your father was dying; you only had your stunned mother for comfort. I wasn't about to leave you." He explained hastily. I grabbed his collar and pulled him into a deep kiss, not caring about the looks from the appalled strangers at our childish behavior.

"That is the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me." I told him hugging him tightly before walking into the arcade.

"So I see you finally took my advice and asked her out." Andrew asked as he went to fix our usual. Darien chuckled.

"I don't know if you'd call what I did 'asking out' but yeah sure." He answered making my flush.

"So what's new? Well besides the new relationship." He asked.

"My father died." I muttered softly. Andrew just nodded making me feel a little better about myself.

"Lita and Nick are over." Darien pointed out as he laid a hand on my thigh teasingly. I put my own hand to stop it from moving up.

"Yeah and me and Lita are now together." He replied back shocking us.

"Already? I sent her down here to flirt, but I guess you're just easy to reel." He joked finishing off his coffee and standing up.

"Well we'll be at a booth. Nice talking to you." Darien told his buddy as he ushered me to a booth and sitting across from me.

"So what are your plans now?" She asked.

"Plans for what?" He replied confused, yet hoping it wasn't about what he thought it was.

"Your apartment, and all." He persuaded. He swallowed hard trying to find an answer but coming short of it.

"Honestly, I don't know. But we're finally on a date, I don't want to ruin this with such down questions. So are you going to college next semester?" He tried changing the subject.

_'I feel like crap.'_

_'You should.'_

_'He lost his job over me, and we're barely even dating.'_

_'You know, there is one thing you could do for him.'_

My eyes widened as I came to a decision. "Live with me." I commanded lightly. He was stunned at first but soon shook his head no.

"Nah, I couldn't possibly." He reasoned but I took his hand tightly.

"Okay for the last week, how many days did we spend separate?" I asked him trying to shake some sense into him. He smiled as he took my hand and kissed my palm.

"I appreciate that, but."

"I insist. I think my roommates staying with her family anyways, and you can just pay me back by driving me places." I pushed.

"Fine, but only if we have separate rooms." He bargained. I smiled wide.

"You take all the fun out of it." I teased pulling my hand away.

I kissed him deeply as we slammed into the wall next to my door.

"Welcome home boy toy." I joked as I pulled away and unlocked the door letting him in. But soon we found ourselves on the floor barely pulling away to kick the door closed behind us.

I woke up to a note next to me, saying that Darien went to pack. I got up and put on a robe as I started to make some black coffee, just the way he liked.

_'Boring morning isn't it?'_

_'Yeah, but it's nice after the hectic week I had.'_

_'True, very true.'_

The door rang and I answered it to see Rita on my doorstep.

"Hi." I answered awkwardly, surprised by her visit. "How can I help you?" I asked trying to be polite.

"Well, I heard Darien was at a friends place, aka. Yours, and I wanted to come by to see him, I haven't heard from him in a week and I was just wondering if we we're still on." She explained. "Can you tell him to call me when he gets the chance." She asked sweetly. I felt my stomach turn as I tried to not show any emotion at all.

"I, I will." I answered closing the door before I felt the urge to strangle her.

_'That dirty cock sucking bastard.'_

_'How could he?'_

_'He was seeing his best friend's girl all along.'_

_'Hey good point is that he wasn't seeing her while he was with you.'_

_'But that doesn't make it right either!'_

I stalked to my room and got dressed and waited on the couch for him to return.

I woke up two hours later to the click of my front door, I sat up and turned to face Darien giving him my best icy glare that even gave me the shivers.

"Rita came by." Was all I said as I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I smiled as I saw a flicker of remembrance cross his features.

"Why was she here?" He asked walking behind me.

_'I give him points on the good acting.'_

_'It wouldn't help him though, no matter how good he is.'_

"Yeah she asked me to give you a message." I told him getting a shot glass down from the cabinet, pouring myself a strong one.

"And?" He persisted. I turned to him with a dark glare.

"She wanted to know if you two we're still okay, well she put it as 'still on'. But I'm sure you got the point." I informed him as I poured another shot for myself.

"Oh." Was all he said as he walked into the living room.

"You know, you are officially THE scummiest person I know as of now. Fucking your best friend's girl. Did you set him up with Lita because you were bored of Rita? Thought to try out a younger but tall version of me?" I asked bitterly as I kept the flow of shots coming. He stepped in the kitchen once more looking thoroughly pissed.

"Oh please cut the hurt act. You deserver this you cock sucker!" I all but screamed at him. "What did Andrew do to you to deserve such shitty treatment?" I asked as I downed my fourth shot and going on my fifth.

"She came on to me one night, and I couldn't help but be attracted to her, so we just met on occasion when we felt pressured or angry, and just let it out on each other." He explained. I froze.

"Get out." I barely whispered as I downed the sixth shot, my vision starting to blur. He bite his lip.

"I forgot about her after our first night." He tried persuading. I just pushed off the counter and pointed at the door.

"Get OUT!" I yelled as I turned away from him.

_'Does he not realize that his relationship with Rita was almost the exact same as ours?'_

_'What a idiot.'_

_'God how could I fall for such scum.'_

"Sere." He whispered as he tried hugging me from the back. I froze as he tried to comfort me.

"I'm pissed and I'm drunk. I advise you to get the hell away from me for awhile, and hope to god I don't bump into Andrew anytime soon." I snapped as I pushed him off of me and downed another shot.

"I'm not leaving till this fight is over." He told me sternly. I smiled crookedly.

"Well guess what? This fight is over when you pack your things and leave, I don't hang out with people who aren't worth my time." I told him as I pushed past him and stumbled to my room, but I fell flat on my face from bumping into a wall with my hip. I muttered a curse word as I turned towards the wall and just bundled up. Not letting my tears flow. I felt him sit next to me. We didn't say a word all of the night. I woke up in the same position with Darien still next to me sitting, but he was still awake.

"Did you actually think it was okay?" I asked him as I sat next to him. He didn't respond.

"It's a shame that we ended before we could even start." I remarked as I stood and went to my room to sleep my hangover away.


	10. Chapter 10

Two weeks later I walked into the arcade to see a vision that gripped my heart. Darien sitting next to Rita quietly. They didn't touch but by the way they sat together you could tell they were together. I swallowed before sitting down next to Darien and smiled at Andrew. Darien noticed me off the bat, I could tell by the way he shifted his seat towards me slightly.

"I haven't seen you around much anymore. Any thing wrong?" Andrew asked as he started to make my favorite milkshake.

'I haven't had a milkshake in ages.'

'It's a shame really.'

'Food is my calling. I swear it.'

"My mother died yesterday." I muttered nonchalant as I gulped the milkshake down. Andrew froze, literally in his spot.

"How?!" he asked as he starred me straight in the eyes. I looked down sadness taking over me.

"Over dose. She was so depressed about daddy; she decided to make it worse for me." I spat out as I finished my malt and stood up.

"You need anything?" He asked concerned. I shook my head no. I starred at Darien's back for a second before walking to the bathroom.

"Serena" Was the first thing I heard as I exited the bathroom. I stopped and looked at Darien void of any emotion.

"What is it now? I didn't tell Andrew and I promise I won't, just please don't talk to me again." I told him pushing past him, but he grabbed my hand before I got too far, pulling me into his chest.

"Serena, I'm so sorry." He whispered. I turned to him and slapped him hard.

"Don't lie to me." I spat out as I walked off. He followed me out of the arcade and all the way home, I stopped at my front door and faced him.

"I could call the cops you know?" I told him leaning on my door. I couldn't help but find him attractive at that moment, he hasn't shaved in about to days and his clothes are a little messed up. But the clothes thing also made me madder.

"It looks like you and Rita had a little fun before you left for the arcade?" I snapped at him. He clenched his fist.

"Serena,"

"Oh don't even started, I honestly don't care anymore." I spat at him.

"Then why haven't you walked in and closed the door?" He replied back. I froze at the remark.

"That's right, you do care. You wanted to fight with me. Any time something bad happens to you, you look for me and let it out on me. I don't care though, I like being here with you, I like hearing you breath at night, and I like seeing you wake up. When you needed me I stayed instead of working. For gods sake I lost my job to stay with you! I didn't go back with Rita even when you left. I even told Andrew about the ordeal. I feel like shit for doing it, but I did it and I can't take it back. I just have to go on with life, with you." He told me as he shook my arms. I bit my lip as I looked way from him.

"It won't work." I barely whispered. "I mean, your six years older and probably looking for a serious relationship and I'm going on twenty one, I'm far from settling down. Not to mention I just lost my parents. You only know the depressed side of me. It just won't work out." I told him tired of the whole ordeal.

"You won't even try? Serena I may not know you as much as you want me too, but I do know your stronger that this, to throw away something before you even know what it can be. I'm not asking you to marry me, hell I'll wait as long as you. I'm just asking for you to try this, us." He pleaded caressing my cheek. I starred him in the eyes for a long time before I answered.

"I'm not promising anything." I whispered as I pulled away and walked inside, locking the door behind me.

I opened the door to my apartment and instantly something fell on to my feet, Darien to be specific. He looked up at me groggily.

"Rise and shine." I told him as I stepped over him and stood before him, hands on my hips waiting for an explanation. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes trying to wake up.

"I don't have an apartment, remember?" I froze as it dawned on me.

"You could have asked." I told him as I walked back inside after getting my newspaper.

"I didn't want to upset you anymore than I did." He replied sitting on my couch.

"Coffee?" I asked him as I started a pot.

"Sure." He answered as he laid down on my couch closing his eyes.

"I thought about it last night. I guess your right, but I want to wait before we jump the sack again. The first time was a mistake, a good one, but a mistake all the same." I told him handing him his coffee. He nodded with his eyes still closed, sipping the coffee.

"Understandable. But is it alright if I still move in?" He asked wearily.

"Only if you don't mess up the bathroom, and no women." I told him as I sat down on his stomach.

"Having fun?" He asked in a puff of air. I smiled.

"Tons." I replied. He poked my side making me get up.

"So what's this about your mother? When's the funeral?" He asked sitting up again.

"Tomorrow. It's going to be small and quick. Not much money left over." I explained. He nodded quietly.

"I'm fine, really. I kind of saw it coming in a way." I told him as I got up and went to my room to get dressed, he walked in as I pulled my shirt off.

"You mind?" I asked exasperated.

"Nope." He answered as he leaned on the door frame. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Where are you going?" he asked as I took off my shorts and pulled on a miniskirt.

"The mall. I need a new black outfit." I explained putting on a tight tank top.

"Can I come too?" he asked.

"Why?" I replied getting some sandals.

"To glare at the guys that will stare at you." He remarked nonchalant. I stopped and glared at him.

"Fine, but only if you act civil." I bargained. He put on an offended look.

"When have I "

"Don't even go there." I cut him off as I grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

'Are you still in love with him?'

'I wish I wasn't.'

I looked back at him quietly and frowned slightly.

I sat across from Mina at the arcade as I waited for her to give me some advice. I just got done explaining the whole thing. She gave me a squinted looked before answering.

"Let me ask you this." She told me as she pointed to the table. "Would you rather not know him at all?" She asked me seriously. I froze as I thought about it.

'Do you love him?'

'Yes, but.'

'What would you feel if Darien wasn't in your life at all?'

'Empty, but.'

'But what?'

I looked at her exasperated. "I, I hate admitting it. But I would rather be here in this situation, than never know him at all. I hate feeling this way, but he's worth it. I guess."

"Then stay." She told me as she got up and walked out. I sat there for awhile thinking about it. Andrew slide in across from me.

"Is this about Darien?" He asked. I was quiet but nodded yes.

"I'd give it a chance." He told me. I looked up shocked.

"But he" he cut me off as he shook his head no.

"What's done is done. I don't care about it because I would have done the same thing to him." He told me truthfully.

"What!" I all but yelled at him outraged.

"He knew I wasn't in love with Rita. Heck I even used her for sex." He explained. "Darien did it because he knew deep down I wasn't attached to her. Sure I was surprised and kind of hurt, but he came clean to me and that shows me that he knew he did wrong and he was sorry about it. And hey I'm in a relationship with a great girl I actually care about." He told me. I just looked at him as if he just confessed to a horrid murder.

"He likes you, and it's obvious that you care for him. Why make it more complicated? Just ask yourself. Is he worth it at the end of the day?" he lectured me before leaving. I got up this time and went home.

I opened the door and smiled as I saw Darien asleep on the couch. I walked to him and lightly laid on top of him, he woke up just enough to put his arms around me so I wouldn't fall.

'He's worth it all.'

'I agree.'

I kissed his neck lightly.

"Sere." He whispered lightly. I groaned in response.

"I got a job." He told me lightly, I cuddled into him deeper. I groaned another response.

"I'll take care of us. I promise." He told me as he traced my back.

"You know what?" I asked him lightly. He moaned lightly in response to me.

"Your really are worth all this." I replied as I kissed him on the cheek softly. We then just lay there quietly.

_**The end.**_


End file.
